It doesn't seem at all possible, but my daughter turned 13 today. Where did the years go? And why do I seem to be asking myself that question so much more lately? I just want the days to slow down. To crawl instead of run. I want the minutes to trudge along, not skip. I want each second to last years. Some days I think I can control time in such ways. Other days I know it's no use even contemplating the notion. I have no power over time. Some days I refuse to even believe in time. Other days, time refuses to believe in me. I've never been someone who's terribly big on birthdays. I'm definitely not a sour-puss who believes "a birthday is just another day," but I'm also aware that a birthday doesn't always turn out special just because it's a birthday. Shouldn't each day be as equally special? Probably. But I'm smart enough to know that doesn't always work out, either. Anyway, I'm grateful for my daughter's birth and for celebrating it. It means I'm around for another day in her life, and so is she. It means that she's in my life, and I'm in hers. It means another opportunity to tell her that she is someone special to me, and I'm grateful for her presence. I wish she was turning three instead of 13, but I'm happy she's in a good place, surrounded by good people, and experiencing good things. Happy Birthday, kid, and many more.
10.26.2007
Another teenager in the house.
It doesn't seem at all possible, but my daughter turned 13 today. Where did the years go? And why do I seem to be asking myself that question so much more lately? I just want the days to slow down. To crawl instead of run. I want the minutes to trudge along, not skip. I want each second to last years. Some days I think I can control time in such ways. Other days I know it's no use even contemplating the notion. I have no power over time. Some days I refuse to even believe in time. Other days, time refuses to believe in me. I've never been someone who's terribly big on birthdays. I'm definitely not a sour-puss who believes "a birthday is just another day," but I'm also aware that a birthday doesn't always turn out special just because it's a birthday. Shouldn't each day be as equally special? Probably. But I'm smart enough to know that doesn't always work out, either. Anyway, I'm grateful for my daughter's birth and for celebrating it. It means I'm around for another day in her life, and so is she. It means that she's in my life, and I'm in hers. It means another opportunity to tell her that she is someone special to me, and I'm grateful for her presence. I wish she was turning three instead of 13, but I'm happy she's in a good place, surrounded by good people, and experiencing good things. Happy Birthday, kid, and many more.
10.23.2007
Halloween Is The New X-mas
OK, not really, but in our house, Halloween comes a very close second to Jesus' birthday, at least from the singular notion of having fun. It's become a tradition with my youngest daughter and I to make her costume from scratch rather than buy one. Besides giving us an afternoon to spend together trekking from Goodwill to Goodwill to piece together what we need, we put our money back into an institution that could use it rather than one such as Target or Wal-Mart that doesn't. Hey, no big morality lesson here or
anything, but damn if the Goodwill doesn't have a purpose in the world. Better, making her costume forces us to use our own creativity and not rely on others to supply it for us. A much better approach, IMHO. The last couple of Halloweens I've noticed a sadness starting to creep in me, I guess because I began to realize that there weren't too many more years my kids would be actively participating. Not too many more Goodwill-costume adventures or getting out around the neighborhood to collect candy and getting to know our neighbors. Now, with a new baby on the way, I know there are many Halloweens left in my future, and hopefully my older children will help her discover the greatness that is Halloween.
10.19.2007
It Figures
Uncle M was in town for probably the first and only time in his or my lifetimes and I missed it. So much I would have liked to ask him or even just thank him for. "Hey M, 'Big Mouth Strikes Again' was so money. Thanks, fella." That's it. That's all I would have really like to him.
Hey M, next time you're in town, how about a little warning. I wouldn't have gotten all creepy fan-stalker on your or anything. Just a quick "thanks," maybe a handshake, and I'd have been on my way. Damn.
10.17.2007
The Countdown Is On
Although summer is desperately clinging on, fall is beating down the door. The sun is taking longer each day to greet me and it's going to bed earlier each night. It won't be long until the day's temporary chilliness is a permanent fixture
. It also won't be long until our baby-to-be becomes a permanent fixture in our lives. I only wish she was present already. Some days I can picture her face. Smell her new baby skin. Feel the smallness of her hands in the largeness of my own. The anticipation is too much to take some minutes. The fear of how I'll handle this new adventure is momentarily frightening, as well. Baby showers. Constructing cribs. Painting walls. Adding curtains. Buying toys. Cleaning high chairs. Reading, preparing, training, reconditioning. Change, change, change. The move forward was so desperately needed, however. The stagnation that life had somewhat become was full of messages that I'm no where near done evolving. I've known such things for so long, but sometimes putting evolution into motion rather than waiting for it to occur naturally are two entirely different things. I lacked motion. I've found it again. I lacked motivation. I've found it. I lacked vision. I can see again. Thank you little one. Your gifts are already welcomed, and you've yet to arrive.
. It also won't be long until our baby-to-be becomes a permanent fixture in our lives. I only wish she was present already. Some days I can picture her face. Smell her new baby skin. Feel the smallness of her hands in the largeness of my own. The anticipation is too much to take some minutes. The fear of how I'll handle this new adventure is momentarily frightening, as well. Baby showers. Constructing cribs. Painting walls. Adding curtains. Buying toys. Cleaning high chairs. Reading, preparing, training, reconditioning. Change, change, change. The move forward was so desperately needed, however. The stagnation that life had somewhat become was full of messages that I'm no where near done evolving. I've known such things for so long, but sometimes putting evolution into motion rather than waiting for it to occur naturally are two entirely different things. I lacked motion. I've found it again. I lacked motivation. I've found it. I lacked vision. I can see again. Thank you little one. Your gifts are already welcomed, and you've yet to arrive.
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