Unaware

"Unaware." Think about that world for a minute. Consider all the mystery that the world contains. Think about every encounter, every bit of knowledge, every experience, every person, every everything that you've ever come across and are aware about and it still pales to the amount of everything you're unaware about and will always be. We're privy to so much but in the dark to far more. I've been thinking lately about the sheer amount of information, wisdom, and knowledge concerning my own self that I'm completely and utterly unaware of. Think about your best friend or spouse or parent and then consider just how many details about yourself they don't have a clue about. It's frightening and empowering in the same instant how much that people I've known literally my entire existence don't have clue one about me and probably never will. There are details about me that I'll never share. Some good, many bad. Details I'd never want made privy. Others that would probably be favorable to myself and my well-being. I'm all about the details, yet they're so hard to obtain sometimes. Like water through the fingers; there one instant and gone the next. I wish I better understood this darkness we all seemingly live in. Very few of us really "know" ourselves. Really know and trust ourselves intimately. Very few of us are entirely sure how we'll act in even a handful of generic, day-to-day circumstances. We know how we'd like to think we'd react, but when the moment arrives, few of us are really so in tune with our mind and spirit that we simply react vs. hesitate, ponder, weigh the good vs. bad, and then take a step, usually letting the moment pass right by. I'm tired of moments passing by. Tired of lost opportunities. Tired and deflated of possibilities slipping going down the drain like all that water. Tired of experiences taking place as daydreams vs. as reality. Tired of being unaware of who I am, was, and will be.