Expectations

Today I told most of my friends that I am going to be a father again. The reception was mostly good. In a couple of cases, the reactions definitely weren't what I expected, primarily in unpleasant ways. By unpleasant I mean disappointing. There wasn't a specific tone or words or gestures I was looking for. Just happiness, I guess. In a few cases, what was returned was strange, and I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly what it all means. Am I misinterpreting matters? Did I get something wrong? It's difficult to say. It's difficult to know. It's certainly not something I'm going to ask clarification for. I don't think you should have to. And ultimately I'm not concerned enough to really want clarification. I don't need it. My mind is clear and able, and I'm confident in my position. I know the task at hand, and it's a good one. And the relationship I really want to foster remains ahead of me with this child. That's the bond that matters most, because that's my responsibility. That's mine to get right or wrong. And that's the clarity I'm in pursuit of. I've surrounded myself with good people. The people I've chosen to keep in my life are in my life for a reason. Good and bad. And lord knows I'm a demanding son of a bitch some days, and I accept that. And I think they accept that about me. But expectations work both ways, and those who expect something from me, I try not to disappoint if it means enough to me and to them. I know what's important. What's important right now isn't the scenario under which I'm welcoming this child into the world. What's important is the scenario for the child when he or she enters the world. Maintaining that atmosphere will always be what's most important, just as it has been for my children now.