I'm sitting here listening to Elliott Smith while contemplating recent news that I'm going to become a father again. ES probably isn't the best soundtrack for such thoughts, but he's calm, and I'm not. He's even-keeled, and I'm not. I'm amped, revved, and juiced. Fatherhood at 40 will be a mission. A terrifying, enlightening, rapturous mission.
How bizarre to share news about something so personal and life-changing with strangers, with non-faces. But this is the world he/she belongs to. This is the state of matters. This is the score. I'll be prepared. I'll be locked in. Honed. Dedicated and in all the way. Never been a doubt about that. But as I listen to ES, I realize pain and discomfort and uncertainty is always a step away, waiting to pounce. So be it. Make your move. I'm ready. Committed. Fierce. Certainly battle-worthy and experienced. Frightened? Maybe. Weak. No.
Welcome, little one. I can't wait to meet you.
No comments:
Post a Comment